I am an extremely active sleepwalker and especially sleep-texter. Here is a record of my sleepwalking activities, transcriptions of my sleep text conversations, and narrations of my crazy dreams.

Saturday, July 2, 2011

Sleeptexting: The Witchdoctor's Advice

I was awake for a while before I noticed these texts with Lexi on my phone. It's the first time I've ever sleeptexted Lexi, but of course, she knows about sleeptexting, and was happy to play along.



Me:
You are being absolutely ridiculous. I refuse to talk to you until you take the alligator out of your mouth.

Lexi: It's not my fault it's stuck to my tongue!

Me: I warned you. I don't care what the witchdoctor said. There are easier ways of seeing into the future.

Lexi: How can you blame me for my curiosity? This is hardly a time for "I told you so's."

Me: Well, what do you suggest I do about it? This isn't exactly my area of expertise.

Lexi: Is there some kind of food we could give it? FOOD THAT ISN'T MY FACE!"

Me: Calm down. I can't even understand what you're saying. Remember the witchdoctor said somethings about how your two heartbeats have to be the same for it to lose interest and leave you alone.

Lexi: How is that supposed to help? Alright, maybe we can raise the alligator's heartbeat...I don't know... Maybe you should tickle it?

Me: Look, I know we have known each other for many, many years. You're like a sister to me. But I'm not going to tickle an alligator. Not even for you.

Lexi: Well, what else do you suggest we do?? Ugh, didn't that worthless witchdoctor have anything useful to say?



I wonder how that situation turned out. I don't remember anything about the context. I didn't even know I had sleeptexted at all. When I woke up, my phone was across the room in the place I left it when I went to bed.

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