I am an extremely active sleepwalker and especially sleep-texter. Here is a record of my sleepwalking activities, transcriptions of my sleep text conversations, and narrations of my crazy dreams.

Monday, March 5, 2012

Sleeptexting: Unprofessionalism

First time sleeptexting with Zoe. She knew all about my sleeptexting, so she was ready. As she put it the next morning: "I was so excited, I couldn't sleep!"

Me: There are seventy-nine separate subcategories, and the possibility for error increases exponentially with each.

Zoe: How will you figure this out, then?

Me: I am already fully qualified to run the generator. You must learn each subcategory if you are to be entrusted with any responsibility here.

Zoe: Is there a book I can read or an algorithm to use?

Me: You have already received your standard issue manual, which you must memorize. The generator powers both cities. All workers must be fully qualified to handle any and all emergencies.

Zoe: But it's my first day! Surely I wasn't to have everything memorized already.

Me: Unprofessionalism will not be tolerated. This orientation is of the utmost importance.

Zoe: Yes ma'am. I do apologize for my insubordination. Carry on.


I don't think I've ever been that official before in my sleep. I'm picturing the setting as futuristic for some reason. Maybe I dreamed about it, but I don't remember.

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