I don't think about weddings a lot. I don't often think about myself getting married. But for some reason, I had nothing but wedding dreams last night. I had maybe ten weddings. And they were all disasters.
I got stood up at the alter.
I found my finance kissing another woman in the dressing room right before the ceremony.
I was getting married to a girl, and only realized that I wasn't gay while I was walking down the isle.
Someone told me at the reception that my new husband was, unbeknownst to me, my cousin.
I got splashed by a car on the way to the chapel, a wave of mud and water going over me in my wedding dress.
There was one highlight. My sister was at one of these weddings, and she had given each of the guests a handful of purple rocks. The guests were to throw them in the air at the opportune moment, after nightfall. They threw them all at once. It created rainbows in the air, and started raining popcorn. It was kind of awesome.
One guest was confused and put the rocks in her mouth, thinking it was candy. I saw her do it, and immediately went over to her and smacked her across the face to get her to spit it out. She got most of the rocks out of her mouth, but she was still spitting rainbows for hours.
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