I am an extremely active sleepwalker and especially sleep-texter. Here is a record of my sleepwalking activities, transcriptions of my sleep text conversations, and narrations of my crazy dreams.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Dream: Five Hearts

My dream last night was less violent, and yet more upsetting than some. Also harder to explain.

I dreamed it was many years in the future, and I was reluctantly going to my mother's funeral. (In real life I am very close to my mom, so any dream about her is usually pretty upsetting. In the dream, we were not close at all, and I hadn't spoken to her for years.)
While going through her stuff, I found a novel that she had written. It was called The Five Hearts that broke Judith. It was about her children, and how one by one they betrayed and hated her, breaking her slowly as a human being until finally she died alone and half insane. There were so many details in the book that I only half remember now that I'm awake. In real life my mom has four children, but in the dream there was a younger sister, Christine, who drowned when none of us were looking. She was only three years old. I don't remember what finally caused me to disown my mom, but I remember that we had a huge fight. I turned to leave, saying this was it -I will never speak to her again. She begged me not to leave her this way, grabbing my hand. I tore my hand away and left.
I finished reading the book in the dream, and felt terrible. I remember there was good reason for me leaving. And my mom wasn't innocent -she was ruining her children's lives as much as we were ruining hers. But the book was so poignant that I wept for all of our sakes.

I think this was a basic category 1/nightmare. But those can be upsetting enough, and I was crying when I woke up.

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